VISUALIZE

I'm trying to visualize each one of you.

Let me begin with you Nolan. You are the oldest who is having a birthday coming up. Who will be turning 10 years old. A whole 10 years, you were always very mature for your age or seem like an you are an intellectual smart child. I worry about you the most, for some reason, since you will be the first to experience life were I couldn't lead you growing up in of what I could of taught you. Most fathers want to play sports with their child or make them like their favourite team. Well, that is just some type of bond, where the child wants to grow up just like their Dad. Growing up as a male child there is a need for a role model who will lead them in the right phases in teenage years and adulthood. Also, at 10 years old, the development of the brain works like a sponge that were it absorbs all information where it demonstrate your abilities. I know that when you were younger, you were a quiet and relaxed child. Why do I worry the most, well as I think of it now, I also worry about your sister too, Ciara. But in a different context. Personally, when I grew up as a child, I didn't get to spend time with my Dad too much, but when the opportunity came, it was like a positive time of my life. Even though, he was not involved much in my life, I know that I could of perhaps done the same to you. But that is going to change, because I will be a part of your life, where I can feel the bonding of us. I don't even know your friends or what you do each moment that you have a chance to play. I have missed a lot of moments in your lives. Where I couldn't be a part of it. Like going to your school, and knowing the teacher was saying great things about you, I thought just hit me now, where I can recall when you were in kindergarten you took off your clean shoes and put them in the hallway with the rest of the other students. You spoke so highly, and were so proud of your surroundings. Sounds weird, but it just seems what I am trying to say is, that you were outside of the classroom and you still could manage at a young age to find your shoes with all the other shoes lined up and in long narrow hallway. What that shows is that you have a sense of direction, where I know that in life you will never get lost or as you know where to always go. It's these funny things, that at a young age, you can reflect back and say our child has a great aptitude for that learning ability.

Child number two, the oldest daughter of ours, Ciara. Where do I ever begin with you? Some people will never believe, but I know the truth, as some may think I'm delusional, but Ciara you know or will know the reasoning later in life, what had happen. Do I worry about you, like I said, in a different way. Where I know that you sparkle just like your Mom. You are like a pleasant person who seems so happy all the time. Who knows what exactly what you want in life. Growing up, you had an artistic side of you. What just hit me now, is a saying where you said "come with me". Like you were wanting to show me something that you valued highly. I forget what it was, but you were so eager and enthusiastic. You lite up me as I know that you are a cheerful person. I could go through all the items where I missed times being with you. Something about a Daddy's little girl, where you want no one to hurt your sweet child. Now, I think as a young female child, you are an advance learner who supports yourself early on in life. Where it will benefit you in choosing all the decisions in your life. What stands out the most, is that you have a distraction where I was not there for you but I will be there for you now. You might be the hardest to figure out, since I don't know you since you were replaced at a young age. But I think you will be the easiest to know right away that you are our child. What transpired was the whole time, was your eyes. Where the day I knew it was not you, but an artificial intelligence baby. What activities did I miss from you, I believe for girls, the crucial age is from 8-10 years old, to have an influence in their life. It can either be a male or female role model, but someone who respectful to their spouse. Since, you will dream big one day, of getting married and experience the opportunity to have children. Make-up and a nice dress, where you visualize having a great spouse later in life.

Child Number 3, our Dylan. The youngest child who perhaps I have never met in my life or could have by even not knowing it. I don't question your existence, but sometimes I know that it was a challenging and difficult process through the whole pregnancy process. People don't understand that your mother tried on many occasions to give birth but may of had complications. I'll I know and believe is that I have three children. Is there proof that I have a third child, no, but I know that your mother would do everything to have another child even through any complex requirement. Just because I see something on a social media web page doesn't guarantee that it is true, but I know deep in my heart that you do exist. It is because of how numerous reasons, but I got reassurance from last night. It is how your mother hold on the baby, that she never held on something so tight ever before. She believes in you and has a higher energy than ever before. Now, honestly did I know it was my baby, no, I couldn't feel since the baby was only about 6 months old, and I know that I saw your mother in March, actually, that could be you. Or do I have a 4th child? There are a lot of questions to be answered, but I'm just happy that how many children we do have, that you will provide a meaning in life. What surprises me the most, is that your mother put you down on the chair in the car seat, and didn't look to make sure you were alright, to see if you were still sleeping. But when she held you, she felt and received a higher sense of power. I never looked directly into the baby's eyes, where perhaps I could tell, but a baby eyes develop in about 4 months time, where they change in colour but not size. So, I do think I meet our baby. That this was the first time.

Child Number 4, through times I don't even know your name, but you lived in the womb, creating and forming a part of your mother's inner body. You have gave her the courage and the strength of how to advance and further made her a stronger person, delivering another baby. I might believe that you lived a short life in the womb, but hopefully you do exist on Earth. If not, thank you for making your soul lead to where we are today.