Denise,
Here are the reasons why I never spoke:
A) I wanted to give people fair chances
B) I was petrified of my life and our family’s
C) I always wanted to be an accountant, so I stood with integrity
D) I always wanted to stay by Denise’s side, and don’t worry about the corruption
E) I was so egotistic, for some reason I was protecting the accountants
F) I couldn’t trust anyone except Denise
G) I lost information when I had a stroke and heart attack
H) I thought if I said any names or anything, it would never be admissible through the courts, since they find a flaw.
I) I needed clearance first, to clear my name from their blackmail tape.
J) There was too much overload in my brain, that I had too much information stored.
K) I even forgot (or was so back in my mind about what happened at the Dr’s Office that Friday day. It was stored in my mind, but I never wanted to retrieve it since I knew it was the major point.
L) I went through so many realities, that sometimes I don’t know what is exactly happening so I forget.
M) What I believe is I said it was an insurance company, and three other parties.
I said I like Blue, because I was somewhat in a psychotic mode. I turn only psychotic when I know that I know something prior that I am holding something back, because I knew about the corruption and what is something that is so unbelievable to an average person. Just like when I found the truth about my daughter being an A.I. robot, I went psychotic because the brain doesn’t know how to cope with the reality that is so unbelievable in daily life or extraordinary life. Now the word psychotic might be over the top, but it is like something like where you know and that you no one else knows. I give you an example, say there was technology to see through people’s clothes and see their bare skin, that you could picture them naked, any person. You know that this would be a huge impact if was released to anybody, so you keep quiet about. After awhile, it might go to your mind, that what you know and see is too much to hold back. So, either you release the information or that the mind will become into a psychotic side.
N) I thought the authorities were corrupted too, so I didn’t trust them.
O) I always thought they would protect the accountants
P) People would be bribed and it would never go through
Q) I needed more proof, until I got it
R) I give people too many chances
S) I knew I had to chase them first before they tried and come after me with the tape.
T) I had to take baby steps to retrieve the information
U) There was so much, that I didn’t know where to begin, except from the bottom up to top, to regain the information.
V) I thought they put a drug in me, so I would forget the information when I was at work.
W) But for the foremost, I always wanted to be with Denise, since, I know that it would change our lives completely. I never wanted the fame or the recognition. Till they took Denise away one day, and they thought all this stuff which wasn’t true, so I had to prove them that what I knew was right all the time.
X) I am a person, who is when not confident enough, I don’t take too many risks to change anything with this case.
Y) But I do truly believe again Blue was for Chrysler’s, since I didn’t want to state a name just yet, since I thought I couldn’t tell information to the outside world.
Z) The authorities have messed with my mind, since I know they have since, I spoke about Denise in my head over a 1,000 times a day, and now it is so much lower than that.
AA) I wanted to protect society from the impact
BB) I believe it was true, but sometimes I didn’t think God was directing me, so after 4-6 times of strong God presences and signs, I passed a breaking point to always stay with that believe, since other times, I would go back and forth.
Love Ryan
XOXO