TURNING
There I was, alone, where your mother spirit was like sitting at the chair beside me. All there was left, was her coffee cup. I have never saw your mother drink coffee ever before. She took it black. I believe she did it just for me. I think she did that to try and offset me, but I took it the other way, thinking that she did it for me. I watched her slowly as her lips touch the cup, she took small sips. We just ignited as I was fortunate that I could see your mother’s eyes. Something where it has been a very long time to see your mother’s eyes. I was transfixed on her, and she seemed like the only person who existed. She asked me two questions, I think the first question was do you write to your children? Your mother has to understand, that in everyway I wanted to write to all our children. Especially at the beginning, near 6 years ago. But I knew if I did, I would of been an emotional wreck, who would of not been where I would be today. Which is having the opportunity to meet your mother and where I am writing for all of you. People don’t realize, that I could of have taken the opportunity to write something, but for me, I did the honest thing. I never wanted to take advantage of our children or Denise. I knew that I could write the nicest and lovely things to everyone but the time was not just right. A person should write something when they truly actually feel something, and not take a the higher demand from something. People assume what they truly cherish, should have a feel like the same of what they do. It is like if you like a favourite sport team, you think those players are the best, and if someone tells you they are no good, you have a difference in opinions. Where you need to step back and adjust to realize the other person might be right. Sometimes you are stuck on your own mind set, you can’t foresee their desires. Or I could put it this way, a music artist releases a new album, they are under pressure to record another album. They know that people will buy the album no matter what, so they just release an album without the feeling or care that it is desirable. But the honest thing would of been, to release the album when the time was just right, it could be 5 years from now, and people won’t buy it, but you know that you did the rightful thing. Which was wait until the time was just right. I know exactly what the most important things are to your mother and I could of took advantage of any situation. But I never did. Which is I could write of the all the great things that are the most important in her life. I never did that since, because I love your mother and never wanted to over power her in anyway. I am not a misleading person who knows I could of did that. But that is not the right thing to do, since our children or any person should never be used in
way. When you get older, like having a job, you know that certain things your boss likes so you sugar coat the situation, you say nice things or buy things to make them be more happy. So, you do things to get a promotion, but do you honestly perform the actions that you did? No, you didn’t. You wanted everything for yourself, not for the kindness of doing things. Now, I could of written every single day for our children, but even though it would of been honest, I would of been in a position that I could influence your mother so easily. I never wanted to ever do that. I always wanted your mother to have faith and hold on to her beliefs, no matter who tries and persuades her. What would happen if I did write incredible things for you? Then, the authorities would try and sabotaged my writings to you and make your mother be influence in the wrong ways. It could of turned out all wrong, but I believe it is turning the right way now.