Letter # 2,
FREEDOM
Letter number two. Where did I leave off? The coffee mug, or now I realize it is called a coffee cup. Sitting next to your mother, as the night went way too fast. I knew that she was ready to make a move. If she felt that she could not hold on any longer, keeping up her disguise. I didn’t want the night to end, but it had to come to an end. I was debating should I let her leave or take her with me. But I’ll I wanted was to dance with her, to hold her. The world just stopped and it was only me and her that surrounding it. After 20 years, she sat beside with me and had a coffee. That is why I will write about the coffee cup.
I gave her a sign and told her about her teeth, that they are very white. Even though they could be veniers, I had to talk something that represented your mother. After when your mother left, all there was an empty chair, but a coffee cup with a saucer. Where you mother lips have touched the handle and that her lip marks are on the cup. I had to get a hold of that cup, something that she actually touched. Something that will bring more meaning in my writings. Sometimes, you need a point when you write that you have been waiting for all along, and then it comes to you. Well it is the coffee cup, that cup is very precious. It is like it was the missing piece all this time. Where it broke free of the missing element that was holding me back, writing to all three of you. I don’t care what people question about why I always wrote to your mother and never wrote about you. The reason behind it, is simply, I knew I had to take care of myself first, in order for me to be in a position, so I would be able to continue where I am today. Not that I wouldn’t put all of you first, but I knew that your mother would do her best to for when I was not available. It is like a jigsaw puzzle, with so many pieces, every piece will be different how people put it together but there is only one way for your mother and I.
Some may need a picture to put the pieces together, but not me, as I was missing a piece where I couldn’t advance, where I was holding back, and that is where the coffee cup brought that missing piece where now it can finally follow it’s course.
So, where was I? I knew I had to not let the waitress take that cup away. So, I had to put it in front of me. I didn’t want that coffee cup to lose my sight, so I brought it with me around where I went. I was afraid, if did goto the washroom or leave the table, the people would of taken the cup. Some, may call me paranoid. But I knew deliberately that I was going to take the cup. That your mother, hands touched the cup with her lips on the outer edge. I was debating if I was going to tell the waitress that I was going to take it, but It didn’t matter to me. I deliberately took it. I didn’t feel one bit ashamed or paranoid of what I was doing. I had to do it, there was a force to tell me to make sure that I did what I had to do.
I put it my car, thoughts could race through my mind, that the authorities could, enter my car and take the cup, but It didn’t matter. I have a piece from your mother, the piece that was missing, where I felt like I needed to break out the manifold. This cup sits on my desk, the authorities could change it at anytime, the idea is now in my head and the freedom has been set free for now I can finally write to all three of you.
Love Dad.