Hello Denise,
Denise, I don’t count all the days the have past, because one day missing you is enough. I have no idea where you are in this world, but I know that you are closer to my heart as each day passes. The last day, I believe I physically saw you, was in Montreal. From a far distance, I saw you on the church porch and somehow with a flash I could get a deep connection with your eyes that I could see you. In a split flash, I could foresee that even more increasing at a rate our lives would even more drastically physically be apart from each other. Their was an energy that you have decided our children was a major priority and at a period you would have an action against your will that would make sure that they were in a position to follow a new route in life. I just saw devastation in your eyes, I knew it was my turn to act swiftly. Even though God instructed me beforehand, that I had to pursue even more than ever before. Our family should be in agreement of every issue and not be separated any further. No matter who tries to dismantle our family, I know for a fact that we both need as parents to raise our children and make sure we are a nuclear family. No matter who tries to dictate and influence any of your behaviour so far. We need to be physically united once again, and that time will eventually come. You will find your way where together we are one, even more so than even now. One of the most beautiful things that I encountered through these harsh eight years, was seeing you awake from a deep sleep in my brother’s basement bed a couple years ago. Seeing your expression coming to awakening brought a magnitude like I never seen before. Even for like the last prior 13 years together, every time I awoke, some days you were well up before I was. Where I automatically saw your eyes right away. But for those limited amounts of time, where I got up before you, I watched you peacefully be asleep as I let you wake you naturally. I am so glorified that I had the opportunity be the one who you set your eyes first thing in the morning. I guess how to describe it, is it is like an everyday feeling where the birth of our children, where you held on our child and they laid their eyes on you for the first time in life. Their is feeling that is out of this world, they you know you are a part our child’s life forever. No matter where they went in life you would ultimately love them forever. That is exactly how I feel for you every single day and the children. Not a moment goes by, where I want to look in all your eyes to feel the same immaculate feeling. That feeling on the Montreal wedding porch seem like that could be possibly the case for some reason. I am never letting go of any of my family because I want to make sure that wherever you and the children awake, I will be right by all your side. I don’t know who controls and dictates your voice, but I will make sure if it can’t be heard, I will awaken you to an era of reflection of inner self with all our hearts, eyes and voices forever combined. Years have been lost, but a new day will be awaken once again as being a united family.
Love Forever,
Your Ryan XOXO